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God gave me Ilham in English. He shall help me. God is coming by His army. We can what we will do. He is with you to kill enemy. God maker of earth and heaven. Life of pain.
My English bad. I go Zilla Lahore. He halts in the Zilla Peshawar. [Zilla = District]. You have to go Amritsar. I ask my friend. He shall help me. I speak he write my reply to your letter.
[Note: The above mainly comprises of my original Ilham in English language]
You are spiritually blind. There is a word “Mauood” in Quran in 85:2 and at several other places the word “Maseeh” has been used. If you combine the two words, you will get Maseeh Mauood. That’s how I am Maseeh Mauood as mentioned in the Qur’an. Likewise, I can prove mentioning of Imam Mahdi in the Qur’an, if required.
I found Hadhrat Isa, but let’s face it, you’re not the same person…… Shahid
I have already explained in my books about how I became Isa ibn Maryam. First, I became Maryam and got pregnant. Then, I gave birth to myself. That’s how I became Isa ibn Maryam.
As for Krishna, I found no reference to him in our Noble Qur’an either.…..Shahid
I narrate a story to you. A person was boasting to his friends about his role in a very famous movie. His friends went to the movie only to discover that he hadn’t played any part in the movie. Perplexed and disappointed, they returned to their friend and asked for the explanation. He said, “Did you not see that scene in which 4 persons were carrying a coffin on their shoulders?”. They said, “Yes, of course. But you were still not among those carrying the coffin”. He replied calmly, “I was inside the coffin”.
Similarly, it is written in the Qur’an that Allah narrated the stories of several prophets to Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) while not mentioning many others. Krishna and my humble self (MGA) fall into the category that was not mentioned in the Qur’an.
although I’ve only seen your picture - you definitely aren’t the Holy Prophet Muhammad SAW….. Shahid
I am Adam, I am Noah, I am Ibrahim, I am Jacob……… and I am God. Every prophet is hidden in my garment.
perhaps you could have delivered on your original promise of 50 volumes of the Braheen-i-Ahmadiyya after all, instead of reneging on your deal with Muslims and delivering only 5 volumes….. Shahid
The only difference between 50 and 5 is that of a dot. Therefore, I have already fulfilled my promise by writing this 5th volume of Braheen-e-Ahmadiyya. The advance money I took for writing 50 volumes has already been spent on publishing 50 cupboards of books for abrogation of Jihad in order to please my masters. The little money I am left with has been kept for celebration of my divinely promised Nikah with my dream girl, Mohammadi Begum.
You said your office was appointed by the “stamp”-like seal of the Holy Prophet SAW. I was under the impression that only Allah had the power to appoint prophets. …. Shahid
I have already written in my books that I became God in my dream and created the Earth and the Heavens. When I became God, I also took the opportunity of appointing myself to the office of prophethood. Since then, I am a professional nabi. Once my disciple, Mufti Sadiq, filled a form on behalf of my son, Mirza Mahmood, who was to appear in his Middle exam. In that form, they asked for the profession of the father. He wrote “Nabuwwat” as my profession in the form.
My focus has changed in the meantime. Instead of Islam, I am now totally focusing on providing 10-Lakh (1 Million) proofs for my truthfulness. One of the major proofs of my being Maseeh Mauood is the yellow sheet which I wear 100 times a day in the toilet while passing urine.
why “the second advent of the Holy Prophet Muhammad SAW” didn’t do Hajj…. Shahid
Qadian is like Makkah and Madinah. Visiting Qadian for annual congregation is more rewarding than going to Nafli Hajj and abstaining from it is a big danger for your faith. Besides, performing Hajj costs a lot of money and my business of selling graves to alive is not running well thus not allowing me to go there and perform Hajj.
Imam Bukhari got it wrong with his Sahih Bukhari, don’t you think? …. Shahid
There is a simple theory for judging the authenticity of Ahadith. Any Hadith that is not in accordance with my own Wahi is liable to be rejected by me like a waste paper.
All that stuff about the Holy Prophet SAW being the last in the line of prophets! What a daft idea! It was something that no native Arab speaker for 1400 years got the hang of!….. Shahid
I must admit that I also got it wrong for most part of my life. I kept believing for almost 60 years that Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) was the last in the line of Prophets. Only in the twilight of my career as a professional Maseeh Mauood, it struck my mind that Seal of the Prophets could also mean a stamp for the future prophets. But, I was also afraid that many people in future might use this logic to claim prophethood for themselves. I, therefore, categorically announce that I am the last in the line of the prophets and Khilafat (of my Khandan) will remain in my Firqa till the Day of Judgement.
Like your God said to you, if it wasn’t for you, He wouldn’t have created the heavens! I guess He created the Qur’an for you too, right? …. Shahid
I actually created my own version of quran by doing plagiarism from the Nobel Qur’an. But I included only those verses with which I could shower great praise upon myself.
I’m sure you’re busy getting ready for your heavenly nikkah with Muhammadi Begum….. Shahid
Right now I am preparing an Ilhami Nuskha under the divine guidance for restoring my sexual powers. I experienced the usefulness of this Ilhami Nuskha when I got married the second time. Then, I was like a child who had no powers to consummate the duties of a marital life. But thanks to this miraculous Ilhami Nuskha Zad Jam-e-Ishq, in which Opium is one of the major ingredients, I managed to produce more children. My eldest son from the second marriage, Mirza Mahmood, who later became the patriarch of Ahmadi Khilafat, is also a direct product of Opium laden Ilhami Nuskha Zad Jam-e-Ishq.
I end my reply with 1000 La’ant upon my opponents.
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