Article #6 : An Interesting Mail
Asslam o alaikum!
I read your mail from top to bottom, I feel sorry for your suffering and pain that you had due to your marriage with ahmadi lady. There are many other people who had same kind of feelings due to mismatches in all over the world regardless of faith, nationality and family.
I am sorry to say that your letter is not based on any religious or logical facts but anger. Before I write my answer I would like to make it clear that I am a humble ordinary not a molvi , there is no body in my family who is or was molvi. We have non ahmadi relatives with very good relations.
Let me ask you who put restrictions about not marrying a non ahmadi (male or female). According to my knowledge it is Hazrat Promised Messiah A. S. and his Khalifas. Does it mean that none of them has read that verse of Holy Quraan or does not know the meanings as you know.
There are two things
1) To make something lawful means if need comes one is allowed to do that.
2) To do something as a matter of routine.
These two situations are totally different and without understanding there difference one cannot understand good behind these restrictions. The holy Quraan has mentioned difference of these two situations in the following sets of verses.
5: 6. This day all good things have been made lawful for you. And the food of the people of the Book is;lawful for you. And your food is lawful for them. And lawful for you are chaste believing women and chaste women from among those who were given the Book before you, when you give them their dowries, contracting valid marriage and not committing fornication, nor taking secret paramours. And whoever rejects the faith, his work indeed is vain, and in the Hereafter he will be among the losers.
2:222. And marry not idolatrous women until they believe; even a believing bond women is better than an idolatress, although she may please you. And give not believing women in marriage to idolaters until they believe; even a believing slave is better than an idolater, although he may please you. These call to Fire, but Allah calls to Heaven and to forgiveness by HIS will. And HE makes HIS Signs clear to the people that they may remember.
60: 11. O ye who believe ! when believing women come to you as Refugees, examine them. Allah knows best their faith. Then if you find them true believers, send them not back to the disbelievers. These women are not lawful for them, nor are they lawful for these women. But give their disbelieving husbands what they have spent on them. Thereafter it is no sin for you to marry them, when you have given them their dowries. And hold not to your matrimonial ties of the disbelieving women, but should they join the disbelievers, then demand the return of that which you have spent; and let the disbelieving husbands of believing women demand that which they have spent. That is the judgment of Allah. HE judges between you. And Allah is All-Knowing, Wise.
60: 12. And if any of your wives goes away from you to the disbelievers, and afterwards you retaliate and get some spoils from the disbelievers, then give to those believers whose wives have gone away the like of that which they have spent on them. And fear Allah in Whom you believe.
By combining these two statements
To merry a woman from people of book is lawful but do not do that as a matter of routine. Instead to merry a believing woman is far better.Same thing applies to food. It is just like saying that it is lawful to give roast chicken to one year old baby but do not do that. As a matter of fact a point of great wisdom has been explained.
That is the same restriction Hazrat P. M. (A. S.) and his Khalifas has put on the members of jamaat and that restriction is in absolute benefit of members. Neither Hazrat P. M. nor any of his Khalifa has ever said that it is not lawful for you to merry a nonahmadi. Instead they said do not merry a nonahmdi. There is large difference between these two statements as mentioned in above two verses. So there is nothing that is contradictory to the teachings of Quraan.
I understand that you got hurt by an ahmadi lady you married but how about those millions of ahmadis who are living happy and successful marrital life as a result of marrying an ahmadi and there wives are playing tremendous role in training there on the right course who are real asset of our jamaat that was impossible to achieve without efforts of those women.
If our Jamaat males keep on marrying nonahmadi or nonmuslim women and leave there women on the mercy of nonahmadis or muslims what do you think will be the fate of jamaat. Everyone so far who has written in support of marrying a nonmuslims or nonahmadis has supported only one thing “INDIVIDUALISM”. I haven’t read a single argument weak or strong where they have considered Jamaat’s fate.
May Allah be with us all.
Wasslam Naeem Ahmad
New York USA
— Jammu Press
Wa Alaikum Salaam
. [Moderator, do not restrict this post, because I am quoting Qur'an]. The Jamaat cannot restrict Muslim men from marrying outside of the Jamaat, because to do so would violate the teachings of the Holy Qur’an. The Holy Qur’an says that Muslims can marry the “People of the Book,” doesn’t it? Here is the verse: “This day all good things have been made alwful for you. And the food of the People of the Book is lawful for you. And your food is lawful for them. And lawful for you are chast believing women AND CHASTE WOMEN FROM AMONG THOSE WHO WERE GIVEN THE BOOK BEFORE YOU, when you give them their dowries, contracting valid marriage and not committing fornication, nor taking secret paramours. And whoever rejects the faith, his work indeed is vain,and in the Hereafter he will be among the losers.”(The Holy Qur’an, revealed by ALMIGHTY ALLAH, to the Holy Prophet Muhammad, Suratul Maidah, Iyyat 6″) So I’m wondering why on earth people keep claiming that the Jamaat can overrule what Allah Himself says. How is that possible? If we make such rules, the sunnis will RIGHTLY claim that we have a new religion and a new book.I married a SO-CALLED Ahmadi Muslim women who GAVE ME HELL for 6 straight years. She wore a veil, and those who know my story KNOW that she was hell on earth. Those 6 years ended in divorce.
But now I am married to a woman who WAS NOT an Ahmadi Muslim when I met her. She was an Episcopalian Christian. I marred her because she was God fearing. And guess what? After we got married, eventually she accepted Islam and Ahmadiyyat. And we have been married successfully for 14 straight years WITH ONLY ONE ARGUMENT (which, incidentally, was my fault. Naturally, I apologized.) So these kinds of restrictions that I keep hearing have nothing to do with what ALLAH says. Besides, the question I have is if it is so much better to marry a so-called Ahmadi Muslim women who wears a veil and all that, then WHY did people in the Jamaat arrange a marriage for me with a woman who was PURE HELL? Why? After I married her, I discovered that Ahmadis had been HIDING her past from me, before we got married. Everybody was telling me how great she was, and I believed it. But one brother–Abdul Karim of Chicago–WARNED me about her. But I didn’t listen to him because everybody else was telling me the opposite thing. After marrying her, we fought EVERY WEEK for 6 straight years until I almost lost my mind.
She was the “Muslim woman” who was SUPPOSED to be so great. She was the “Ahmadi Muslim” who wore the veil. Yea, right! Allah knows what he’s talking about, and HIS criteria is RIGHTEOUSNESS, not a label. My so-called “Ahmadi wife” had the LABEL of “Ahmadi Muslim.” And she wore a veil EVERY DAY. But, as I came to find out, she wore it because it was A STYLE, not because of any real righteousness on her part. Am I lying? Well, where is she? After we broke up, she did not return to the Jamaat. That’s been since 1982. She no longer wears the veil. She moved in with her BOYFRIEND, and all that. But the current wife I married WAS NOT an “Ahmadi Muslim” when I married her. In fact, I told her, “If you wish to remain Christian, that’s your business, because we are allowed to be married according to Islam.” But after we got married, she took books from my library and read them. I NEVER preached a word to her. She read the books of the Promised Messiah ON HER OWN without my saying anything. And she accept the Promised Messiah and signed biat.
Now, my previous SO-CALLED Ahmadi wife, for the entire 6 years of our marriage NEVER READ A SINGLE BOOK ABOUT AHMADIYYAT. I’d put the books on the table for her to read, and she WOULD NOT read them.
Oh, but she had the COVER! Yea, she had the STYLE! Yea, she had the veil and all that. I sent her to Pakistan TWICE to go to Jalsa Salana, and guess what? When she came back, the ONLY thing she talked about was how much GOLD she bought while she was there! She had nothing to say about the spiritual gathering of Jalsa Salana. My current wife is what we Ahmadis call “inactive,” because it is too difficult for her to participate, due to her work situation. But this so-called “in-active” Ahmadi Muslim woman has stood by my side for 14 straight years [Last month became the 14th year of our marriage]. So this stuff about “Ahmadi Muslim women” IS NO GUARATEE OF ANYTHING WHATSOEVER. It’s all a matter of what is INSIDE of that individual. Certainly the chances of having a happy and long-lasting marriage are much better with an Ahmadi Muslim woman. I readily admit that. I’m not a fool. I realize that. But, it cannot be written in stone that marriage to a so-called “Ahmadi Muslim” woman assurres a happy life. Yes, the Jamaat needs to stick together and grow from within, and I understand all that stuff. It make sense to a degree, especially with families that have generations that go back in time to the Promised Messiah even. But we CANNOT ignore basic stuff that Allah says in Qur’an. I ain’t some perfect person–far from it. But this stuff is just BASIC. We can’t go telling people that they cannot marry non-Ahmadi women of the Book. Now, if ANY maulvi wants to make an issue of this, then DO SO. Because you’ll be fighting with Allah, not me.
Abubakr Ben Ishmael Salahuddin,
author of The Tomb of Jesus Christ Website ( www.tombofjesus.com ).
Kashif Haseeb wrote:
Plus one thing I want to mention is that It is not only from Jamaat but all religious organizations for example Lutherian Church have same restrictions and if some body wants to marry out of the church to another christian he has to go to the court as Church will not participate in the matrimonial service.
Kashif Haseeb Tampere,